Why Funerals Are Better Than Weddings (Ecc. 7:2)

[2] It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart. [3] Sorrow is better than laughter, for by sadness of face the heart is made glad. [4] The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth. (Ecclesiastes 7:2-4 ESV) 

We live in a culture that is terrified of death, for death represents the utter termination of everything that our carpe diem (seize the day) culture urges us to do. The life of wine and cheese dining, relaxation on white sand beaches, and riveting entertainment at the click of a button has no ability to grapple with death and therefore denies its existence. What we cannot handle, we abstract from our lives to nursing homes and hospices, impoverishing ourselves of biblical wisdom in the process. Death is truly “the end of all mankind,” and we would be fools not to heed God speaking to our hearts through our own mortality.  

But it is not to say that feasting of any sort is inherently bad. The birth of a child, the marriage of a man and woman, the beginning of a new year of life—these are all causes for celebration! Our Lord himself made wine at Cana and ate with tax collectors and sinners (Matt 11:19). There is a time and place for the festivals of God’s people, for indeed there is a time for every matter under heaven (Ecc 3:1). There is also a time to die, and greater wisdom to be gained at the graveside. The joy of a wedding feast lasts only a moment, but sober reflections at the funeral of a dying saint who has run their race well for the Lord has the silent ability to preach with overwhelming compulsion to those who would never listen to a living voice. 

The reason that the sadness of a funeral can gladden the Christian heart is because the sorrow of the grave frees the heart from the daily chains of worldly cares. When faced with death, we are reminded that our days are not our own, but written for us in His book. When we see the final rest of a valiant saint who has fought the good fight, we are reminded of the brevity of life and that we should cast our daily burdens upon the Lord who cares for us! And if we are to live a God-honoring life in the flesh, that means fruitful labour for us (Phil 1:22). In the house of feasting, we delight in hearing the laughter of the voices of others. But in the house of mourning, we delight in hearing the voice of God who alone can comfort us in our pain, and reminds us that to live is Christ and to die gain. Therefore, the heart is gladdened in the house of mourning not by ignoring death but by gaining a heavenly perspective.  

Believer, do you realize that because of your Christ the sting of death has been swallowed up in victory? Do you think daily about how you are running your Christian race? Is your life characterized by a striving to do God’s will each day from the moment you rise in the morning? Is it your joy to pour out your very life as a drink offering in service to your Master? Do you fear death? Or, when you are faced with the end that comes to all mankind, do you hear the voice of Jesus who speaks wisdom to your heart about how to redeem the time, knowing that the days are evil? 

No runner can run well to win the prize without studying where the finish line is. And no Christian can run well to win the ultimate prize without studying the finish line of death. In the words of C.T. Studd, “Only one life, ’twill soon be past, only what’s done for Christ will last.”

“Two little lines I heard one day, Traveling along life’s busy way; 

Bringing conviction to my heart, and from my mind would not depart; 

Only one life, ’twill soon be past, only what’s done for Christ will last. 

Only one life, yes only one, soon will its fleeting hours be done; 

Then, in ‘that day’ my Lord to meet, and stand before His Judgment seat; 

Only one life, ’twill soon be past, only what’s done for Christ will last. 

…Only one life, yes only one, now let me say, “Thy will be done”; 

And when at last I’ll hear the call, I know I’ll say “twas worth it all”; 

Only one life, ’twill soon be past, only what’s done for Christ will last.” 

C.T. Studd (1860-1931)